Friday, June 24, 2011

i have a hard time with my blog

Lots of times I hate it, and sometimes I like it a lot.  Lots of times I write a great post only to delete it ten minutes later.  I think it is because I like the idea of sharing and I like the idea of writing and I like the idea of a random place to record random whatevers....but whenever I try to write a post I feel bombarded by what other people must be thinking of me.  In high school I affectionately called this idea Bethany's Imaginary Audience. They were kind of an obnoxious, critical, self-important lot.  When I came to BYU and learned all sorts of fascinating things about human development and Piaget and Elkind, I renamed them my adolescent egocentrism. 

I'm 21 now (a bonafide adult!) and I still can't seem to shake them.  So now I'm just sort of an inverse egotist who underexaggerates personal ability and merit. It is a little bit ridiculous, and has been for some time, so I propose a change.  A movement!  A revolution to become better!  To become kind and selfless and empathetic, to disband my worries, and to be not so very conceited.

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